Nun and Fortune Telling Machine
Date of Joke: Thursday, 1st May, 2014

A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down waiting for her flight. She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tell your fortune. So, she thought to herself "I'll give it a try just to see what it tells me."

She went over to the machine and put her nickel in, and out came a card that said, "You're a nun. You weigh 128 pounds and your are going to Chicago, Illinois."

She sat back down and thought about it. She told herself it probably tells everyone the same thing, but decided to try it again.

She went back to the machine and put her nickel in. Out came a card that read, "You're a nun. You weigh 128 pounds and you are going to Chicago, Illinois and you are going to play a fiddle."

The nun said to herself, "I know that's wrong, I have never played a musical instrument a day in my life."

She sat down again. From nowhere, a cowboy came over and set his fiddle case down next to her. The nun picked up the fiddle and just started playing beautiful music.

Startled, she looked back at the machine and said "This is incredible. I've got to try it again".

Back to the machine. She put her nickel in and another card came out. It said "You're a nun, you weigh 128 pounds, you're going to Chicago, Illinois and you're going to break wind".

Now, the nun knows the machine is wrong "I never broke wind in public a day in my life!"

Well, she tripped, fell off the scales and broke wind. Stunned, she sat back down and looked at the machine. She said to herself "This is truly unbelievable! I've got to try it again."

She went back to the machine, put her nickel in and collected the card. It said "You're a nun, you weigh 128 pounds and you have fiddled and farted around and missed your flight to Chicago."


To get jokes like this one in your email every day, sign up for our mailing list, in the top-right hand corner of this or any other page.