Epitaphs for a Halloween gravestone......
Date of Joke: Thursday, 27th October, 2011

Come And Visit Often

Pardon Me For Not Getting Up - I Feel Like Lying Down

Gone Fishing - Permanently

Don't Come In Yet - Wait Til Later

Now Is Not The Time To Ask Me Again

There Is Always Lots Of Room Here

If You Can't Say Anything Nice About Me Then Leave

Forever A Mess I Must Confess

In The Beginning I Was Small, Now I Am Nothing At All

If You Can't Beat 'Em, You'll Join Them Here

The Only Regrets I Have Are Those Things I Didn't Do

Time Waits For No One But I Wouldn't Have Minded A Bit Of A Delay

I Never Claimed To Know Anything, So Why Am I Here?

I wasn't Always Like This

I Never Asked For The Lights To Dim

Wishing You Were Here

Sad As It Is, I'll Never Yell At You Again

Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange.

I was somebody. Who, is no business Of yours.

As the flowers are all made sweeter by the sunshine and the dew, So this old world is made brighter by the lives Of folks like you. -- Bonnie Parker (Bonnie and Clyde)

John Brown is filling his last cavity. -- Dentist's Tombstone

I told you that I was sick! -- Georgia Cemetary, USA

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake; Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. -- Pennsylvania Tombstone, USA

Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I, As I am now, so shall you be, Remember this and follow me. -- Tombstone in England

To follow you I'll not consent, Until I know which way you went. -- Written on the tombstone in reply to one above

The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna. -- England Tombstone

Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod; Pease shelled out and went to God. -- Massachusetts Tombstone

Gone away, Owin' more than he could pay. -- England

Alien tears will fill for him; Pity's long-broken ern. For his mourners will be outcast men, And outcasts always mourn. -- Oscar Wilde's Tombstone

It was a Cough That carried him Off,It was a Coffin They Carried him Off In

"The defense rests"

Here lies Johnny Yeast, Pardon me For not rising.

Auctioneer:Going! Going!! Gone!!!

Effie Jean Robinson: Come blooming youths, as you pass by , And on these lines do cast an eye. As you are now, so once was I; As I am now, so must you be; Prepare for death and follow me. Upon which someone scribbled: To follow you I am not content, How do I know Which way you went.

Bill Blake Was hanged by mistake.

Here lays Butch, We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw.

I would rather be here than in Texas.

Here lies the body Of Margaret Bent She kicked up her heels, And away she went.

Here he lies, James T. Carson, He blew up his wife, and was hung for arson.

Here lies the body of John Round: Lost at sea, and never found.


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