The Marine Drill Instructor noticed a new recruit and barked at him, 'Get your ass over here ! What's your name?"
"Paul," the new recruit replied.
"Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy bull-shit they're teaching in boot camp today, but I don't call anyone by his first name," the sergeant scowled. "It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my recruits by their last names only --- Smith, Jones, Baker. I am to be referred to only as 'Sergeant.' Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, sir, Sergeant!"
"Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?"
The recruit sighed "Darling, My name is Paul Darling."
"Okay, Paul, here's what I want you to do ....."