Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was
closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger
alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace.
Take us to your leader.'
The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.
The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.
The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'
The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting.
Again, there was no response.
Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude,
he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in
peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!'
The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't
want to do that! I really don't think you should make him mad.'
'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the
pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball
roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and
deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.
Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he
refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly
at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big,
'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien.
'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy
friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my
intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can loop his pen*s
over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.'