Resume Bloopers
Date of Joke: Monday, 1st June, 2009

"Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs, yet..."

"I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability."

"Qualifications : I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I'm a class act and do not come cheap."

"I intentionally omitted my salary history. I've made money and lost money. I've been rich and I've been poor. I prefer being rich."

"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."

"Number of dependents: 40."

"Marital Status: Often. Children: Various."

"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."

REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB:

"Responsibility makes me nervous."

"Not sure, they just game me a check and told me to leave..."

"They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those conditions."

"Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches."

"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."

"I asked my boss for a raise, he told me I could get a raise when he does."

"The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers."


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