A man took his old duck to the Doctor, concerned because the
duck wouldn't eat.
The Doctor explained to the man that as ducks age their
upper bills grow down over their lower bills and make it
difficult for the animal to pick up it's food.
"What you need to do is gently file the upper bill down even
with the lower bill. But you must be extra careful because
the duck's nostrils are located in the upper bill and if
you file down too far, when the duck takes a drink of water
The man goes about his business and about a week later the
Doctor runs into his patient.
"Well, how is that duck of yours?" the Doctor inquires.
"He's dead." declared the heartbroken man.
"I told you not to file his upper bill down too far! He took
a drink of water and drowned didn't he?" insisted the
"No." lamented the man. "I think he was dead before I took
him out of the vise."