A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way
through the semester, he has foolishly squandered away all of the money his
parents gave him.
Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad," he says, "you won't
believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why,
they actually have a program here at college that will teach our dog Ole
Blue how to talk!"
"That's absolutely amazing," his father says. "How do I get him in
"Just send him down here with $1,000" the boy says. "I'll get him
into the course." So, his father sends the dog and the $1,000.
About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls
his father again. "So how's Ole Blue doing, son," his father asks.
"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe
this they've had such good results with this program that they've
implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"
"READ," says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him
in that program? "
Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." His father sends the
The boy now has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will
find out that the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.
When he gets home at the end of the semester, his father is all
excited. "Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him talk and read
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just
before we left to drive home, Ole Blue was in the living room kicking back
in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he
turned to me and asked, ' So, is your daddy still messin' around with that
little redhead who lives on Oak Street ?'
The father says, "I hope you SHOT that son of a bitch before he talks
to your Mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!"