9. Promises to improve foreign relations with Hawaii.
8. Runs a series of attack ads against Martin Sheen's character on "The
7. His #1 choice to work on his cabinet is "That Bob Vila guy."
6. Outstanding record as Governor of Rhode Island nullified by the fact
that no one really cares.
5. Anybody mentions Washington, he asks, "The state or the DC thingie?"
4. At the debates, answers every question with a snarled, "You wanna
3. Vows to put an end to the war in Pokemon and free the Pikachu
refugees once and for all.
2. Says the Pledge of Allegiance as quickly as possible, then shouts,
1. On the very first question of the debate, he attempts to use a