Computer Quotes
Date of Joke: Thursday, 4th August, 2005

"Remember, never ask a geek "why"; just nod your head and back away slowly... "
Dan Wineman

Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it.
Seymour Cray (commenting on virtual memory).

There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
Jeremy S. Anderson

Programming is like sex; one mistake and you have to support for a lifetime.

"Avoid the Gates of Hell. Use Linux."

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.

"Bill Gates says no matter how much more power we can supply, he'll develop some really exciting software that will bring the machine to its knees."
Intel VP David House, In _EE_Times_, 16 October 1989

Real programmers don't comment their code. It was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

There are two ways to write error-free programs. Only the third one works.

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.
Andrew Tannenbaum

Hardware, n.:
The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

Heuristics are bug ridden by definition. If they didn't have bugs, then they'd be algorithms.

Life would be so much easier if we could just look at the source code.

If NT is your answer, you don't understand the question

The software said it requires Windows 95 or better, so I installed Linux

To iterate is human; to recurse, is divine.

Consistently separating words by spaces became a general custom about the tenth century A.D., and lasted until about 1957, when FORTRAN abandoned the practice.
-- Sun FORTRAN Reference Manual

C isn't that hard: void (*(*f[])())() defines f as an array of unspecified size, of pointers to functions that return pointers to functions that return void.

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history... with the possible exception of handguns and tequila."
Anon.


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