In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with
clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized
society, it is called golf.
Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.
The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and
not too often.
There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons,
practice constantly -- or start cheating.
An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice -
once before swinging, and once again, after swinging.
Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot
count, criticize or laugh.
Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those
in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.
There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play
eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.
Golf got its name because all of the other four letter words were