What is a Cat?
Cats do what they want. They rarely listen to you. They're totally
unpredictable. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
When you want to be alone, they want to play. They expect you
to cater to their every whim. They're moody. They leave hair everywhere.
Conclusion: They're tiny women in little fur coats.
What is a Dog?
Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture
in the house. They can hear a package of food opening half a block
away, but don't hear you when you're in the next room. They can look
dumb and lovable at the same time. They growl when they are not happy.
When you want to play, they want to play. When you want to be alone,
they want to play. They leave their toys everywhere. They do disgusting
things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss. They go right for
your crotch as soon as they meet you.
Conclusion: They're tiny men in little fur coats.