Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain
about splinters when they were having sex.
Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could
help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever
indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily
through town and asked him;
"How's the girlfriend?"
"Who needs a girlfriend?"