Mississippi Student Absentees
Date of Joke: Monday, 22nd March, 2004

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud! These are real notes written from parents in a Mississippi school district. (Spellings have been left intact.)

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John Henry being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33

Please excuse Gloria Jean from Jim today. She is administrating

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he playing football. He hurt in the growing part.

Ethel Pearl could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Please xcuse LeRoy from school, he ain't got no rain cot and it was missing rain.

Please excuse Bowdiddly fom school cause he uncle died. Bow say, "I sho glad it want me."

Lugene will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side .

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had(diahre)(dyrea)(direathe) the s----. [Words were crossed out in the ( )'s}

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a weak from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Willie being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary Ann for being absent yestitty. She was in bed with gramps.

Lizie was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Please excuse Brenda, she been sick and under the doctor.

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.


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