Things To Say When You're Stressed
Date of Joke: Friday, 5th March, 2004

1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unf*ck you.
2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
3. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
4. Do I look like a people person?
5. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
6. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
7. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
8. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
9. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
10. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
11. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
12. Chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done.
13. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
14. You look like sh*t. Is that the style now?
15. Earth is full. Go home.
16. Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
17. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
18. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
19. If assh*les could fly, this place would be an airport.


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