1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a
role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to
look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked
about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000
or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say:
"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,
"Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run
over Joe's Mom, too."
4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on
his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He
lets us wear earrings."
5. Football commentator and former player Joe
Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be
called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman
6. Senior basketball player at the University of
Pittsburgh : "I'm going to graduate on time, no
matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)
7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height." And,
"You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line
up in a circle."
8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to
prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out
smarter? He went to prison for three years, not
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing,
explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself
above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to
spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan
training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's
a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning
regardless of what time it is."
11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball
player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared
nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby,
and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an
aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature
12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former
player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is
it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach,I don't
know and I don't care.'"
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M ,
recounting what he told a player who received four
F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're
spending too much time on one subject."
14. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum
Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his
wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded:
"Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye."