What do you expect from such simple creatures!?
Their last name stays put.
The garage is all theirs.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
They can be President.
They can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell them the truth.
The world is their urinal.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
People never stare at their chest when they're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood, all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
They know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
They can open all their own jars.
They get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Their underwear is $6.95 for a six pack.
Everything on their face stays its original color.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
They don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
They almost never have strap problems in public.
They are unable to see wrinkles in their clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
They don't have to shave below their neck.
Their belly usually hides their big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
They can "do" their nails with a pocketknife.
They have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
They can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in