A married man goes to confessional and tells
the priest, "I had an affair with a woman -
The priest says, "What do you mean, 'almost'?"
The man says, "Well, we got undressed and
rubbed together, but then I stopped."
The priest replies, "Rubbing together is the
same as putting it in. You're not to go near
that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's
and put $50 in the poor box."
The man leaves confessional, goes over and
says his prayers, then walks over to the poor
box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to
The priest, who was watching him, quickly runs
over to him and says, "I saw that. You didn't
put any money in the poor box!"
The man replied, "Well, Father, I rubbed up
against it and you said it was the same as
putting it in!"