A good Irishman, John O'Reilly, met regularly with his toastmasters club.
One evening they were hitting the Guinness Stout and decided to have a
contest regarding who could make the best toast.
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me
life between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize for the
best toast of the night. He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the
prize for the best toast of the night."
She said, "Aye, what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the street
corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other
night with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, and I was a bit surprised meself! You know, he's only been
there twice! Once he fell asleep and the other time I had to pull him by
the ears to make him come!"