You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest
that perhaps they're too old to do it.
Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal
partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30
When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,"There was water in
the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the
My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
People are always asking couples whose marriages have endured at
least a quarter of a century for their secret for success.
Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my
husband for not being Paul Newman.