A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana.
He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field
on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over
the fence, an elderly farmer drove up onhis tractor and
asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded,
"I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going
into retrieve it."
The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are
not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial
attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that
duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't
know how we do things in Louisiana. We rule ourselves
under the Napoleonic Code. We settle small disagreements
like this with the Louisiana Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the Louisiana Three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied. "Well, first I kick you three times and then
you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided
that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the
local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and
walked up to the city feller.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's
groin and dropped him to his knees where he immediately vomited.
The geezer's second kick nearly ripped the man's nose off his face.
The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney
nearly caused him to give up.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his dark heart, vengeful will and
managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."