A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand
in a trial -- a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked,
"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Burns. I've known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, you manipulate
people, and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you
haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a
two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Treviņo since he was
a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has
been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a
drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his
law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence, and called
both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If
either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"