A very inebriated lady walked into a bar shortly before
closing time, sat at the bar and ordered, "Barbender,
barbender, I would like a Martoutsy." The bartender
brought her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp.
"Barbender, I would like another Martoutsy", again the
bartender brought her a Martini. By this time the lady
is leaning heavily forward, barely able to hang on. She
called, "Barbender, your Martoutsys are giving me heartburn."
Patiently, the bartender came near her and said, "Lady,
I am not a barbender, but a bartender, and what you have
been drinking is not a Martoutsy, but a Martini, and
finally, you do not have heartburn, your tits are
hanging in the ashtray."