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For All You Lexophiles (Lovers of Words)|
Date of Joke: Friday, 22nd February, 2013
1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism
it's your count that votes.
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and
I'll show you A-flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France
would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't
find the key.
17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory which was never
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The short fortune teller who escaped from
prison was a small medium at large.
23. Those who get too big for their britches will
be exposed in the end.
24. When you've seen one shopping center you've
seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray
hair she thought she'd dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the
agony of defeat.
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