An Italian, a Frenchman and an Englishman are discussing their previous night's lovemaking.

The Italian says: "I rubbed fine olive oil all over my wife, then we made wonderful love. She screamed for five minutes."

The Frenchman says: "I rubbed sweet butter on my wife's body, then we made passionate love. She screamed for half an hour."

The Englishman says: "I covered my wife's body with lard. We made love and she screamed for six hours."

The others say: "Six hours? How did you make her scream for six hours?"

"Simple, the Englishman replies: "I wiped my hands on the drapes."