A man was sitting at a bar when he noticed a pirate walk in the front door. The pirate had a peg leg, a hook for one hand, and a patch over one eye. Feeling sorry for the pirate, the man said, "Come over here friend. You look like you've had a hard life and I'd like to buy you a drink." The pirate came over and ordered rum. "Just out of curiosity," the man said, "how did you lose your leg?"

"Arrrgh!" said the pirate, "I lost that timber to a tiger shark in the Caribbean when I was thrown overboard for stealing a man's rum."

"That's just terrible. How did you lose your hand?" the man said.

"Arrrgh!" said the pirate, "I lost that fighting cannibals off Madagascar under Admiral Hawk." "

Oh my!" the man said, "I can't even imagine! How did you lose your eye?"

"Arrrgh! A seagull pooped in it!" said the pirate.

"A seagull!" the man exclaimed. "Is seagull poop dangerous?!" he asked.

"Nay, matey, it was me first day with the hook..."