1. What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands. - Men's room, Lynagh's Bar. Lexington, KY.
2. No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her sh*t. - Men's room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC.
3. Beauty is only a light switch away. - Perkins Library. Duke University.
4. If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives. - Maggies Pizza, Washington, D.C.
5. Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married. - Women's restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT.
6. If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. - Revolution Books, NY.
7. A woman's rule of thumb, if it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it. - Women's restroom, Dallas, TX.
8. I used to be into necrophilia and bestiality... but then I realized I was just kicking a dead horse. - The Cellar Restaurant, VA.
9. Hey Nike, I just did it! - Tastee Diner, Bethesda, MD