This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 75 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds! but when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.
As a man, I don't scare easily, but she scared me so much, I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the meat pie out of my other hand.
In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car
using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear, which fell into the coffee
between my legs. It splashed and burned Big Pete and the twins, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers and disconnected an important call.
Bloody women drivers!!