January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels......Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer!

March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours ? power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm....car swamped because soft-top was open.

September - The capital of California is "C"....isn't it?

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound - I weigh 108!!

December - Couldn't call 911.... "duh"....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!