# 10 Life is sexually transmitted.

# 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

# 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him Without an erection, make him a sandwich.

# 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a Person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

# 6 Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for Anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

# 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in Hospitals dying of nothing.

# 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no Attention to criticism.

# 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

# 2 In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now The world is weird and People take Prozac to make it normal.

~*~*~*~ AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006 ~*~*~*~

# 1 We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of defense.