Hello, my name is William and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding
50 billion f*cking chain letters sent to me by people who actually
believe that if you send them on, a poor six year old girl in Kentucky with
a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents
sell her to a travelling freak show.
And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you,
and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000?
How stupid are we?
Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll
get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!
What a bunch of bullsh*t.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and
sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was
started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget
pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour.
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something
mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends,
and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards
about 90 times.
I don't f*cking care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to
leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
If it's funny, send it on.
Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in
Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead
elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per
letter he'll receive if you forward this email.
Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning
your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.
Have a nice day.
P.S: Send me 15 bucks and then f*ck off.