Smart Ass Answer #5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket,
instead he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a
beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
Smart Ass Answer #4:
A lady was shopping for a turkey at the grocery store, but she
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do
these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied," No ma'am they're
Smart Ass Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop
said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.
Smart Ass Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right Ahead of him and he gets stuck
under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car
comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks up to the truck driver,
puts his hands on his hips and says,"Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005 .
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it,
no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room
raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class
is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is finally
restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head
and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your