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Date of Joke: Thursday, 12th May, 2005

Useful phrases when dealing with the general population. Try to incorporate these into your conversations . . .

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

Ahhh...I see the f*ck-up fairy has visited us again...

Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

How about never? Is never good for you?

I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

Are you a ray of sunshine every day?

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.


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