A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope
propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad"
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter
with trembling hands:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and
you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice - even with
all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes.
But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant, and Joan said that
we will be very happy. Even though you don't care for her as she is so
much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack
of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children
with me and that's now one of my dreams too.
Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be
growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine
and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a
cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know
Your son, John
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it
is safe for me to come home.