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Oxymoronic Statements
Date of Joke: Sunday, 14th November, 2004

Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface.

On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.

The world's full of apathy, but I don't care.

Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.

Prejudiced people are all alike.

What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds?

Evil isn't all bad.

I'm still not sure if I understand ambiguity.

Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness.

There's no such thing as nonexistence.

Cooperation can only be reached if we work together.

As far as I'm concerned, treachery will sometimes bring loyalty into question.

He doesn't have much of a reputation or so I've heard.

I disagree with unanimity.

I have my doubts about disbelief.

Avoid alliteration...always.

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

One should never generalize.

Avoid cliches like the plague.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

Profanity sucks.

I have a twin brother; he's identical, but I'm not.

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Death to all fanatics!

An oral contract isn't worth the paper its written on.

If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!

I always wanted to be a procrastinator!

Rehab is for quitters!

The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.

Don't be redundant by repeating yourself.

Grammar has gots to be one of the most importantest things ever?

My identity lies in not knowing who I am.

I am becoming increasingly worried that there isn't enough anxiety in my life.

I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.

Free advice is worth what you paid for it.

Entropy just isn't what it used to be.

I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I am not sure if I believe it.

There are only three kinds of people; people who can count and people who can't.

Reality is a big, nasty, vicious dragon, but I don't believe in dragons.

Life is full of uncertainties...or I could be wrong about that?

Not only am I redundant and superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary.

Always remember you're unique...just like everyone else!


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