A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The
husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on
the town and party with his buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said,"You want a beer, my love?" She opened the
door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of
beer, brands from 12 different countries.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he
could think of saying was, "Yes, ly pop...but at the bar...you
know...they have frozen glasses..."
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted
him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took
a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting
chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at
the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...
I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh? "She opened the oven and
took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs
in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing,
dirty words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, cutie pie?
.."LISTEN UP, D*CKHEAD! DRINK YOUR F**KING BEER IN YOUR
GOD D*MN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR MOTHER F**KING SNACKS,
BECAUSE YOU ARE MARRIED NOW, YOU SELFISH BASTARD. YOU
AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, A**HOLE?"
........and, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet