Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass.

Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"

Everyone has a photographic memory ...some just don't have any film.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.

If you can read this...I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.

And The Number One Bumper Sticker you'd Like To See!!

Welcome to America ...now speak English