A vet gets a midnight phone call from a farmer. "I`ve
got a very constipated cow - been like it for days, it`s
in great pain, what can I do?"
Sleepy vet, knackered after working all day and all
evening, says: "If you`ve got one of those small bottles of highly concentrated
milk of magnesia, get that down it and I`ll call you in
the morning to see how it is."
Next morning the vet rings: "How`s the constipated cow this morning?"
"Cow?" says the farmer. "I said cat."
"Oh God," says the vet, "did you give it the
"Yes, I got the whole bottleful down its throat, I used
a small funnel."
"Oh Jesus," says the vet. "how is the cat?"
"It`s out in the garden."
"Dead I suppose?" said the vet.
"God no," said the farmer, "it`s out there with four of
his mates, two digging and two filling in."