A 75 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring
back a semen sample tomorrow.
The next day the 75 year old man reappeared at the doctor's office
and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc,
it's like this: First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I
tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for
help. She tried with her right hand, and then her left, still nothing.
She even tried with her mouth; first with the teeth in, then with her
teeth out still nothing. We even called up Earleen, the lady next
door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she
even tried squeez'n it between her knees, but still nothing.
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we still
couldn't get that damned jar open."