And God populated the earth with broccoli and
cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables
of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and
And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought
forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to
Man, "You want fries with that?" And Man said, "Super
size them." And Man gained pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might
keep her figure that man found so fair.
And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth
chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to
put on the yogurt. And woman gained pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits,
and shredded cheese. And there was ice cream for
dessert. And woman gained pounds.
And God said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables
and olive oil with which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak from Cracker
Barrel so big it needed its own platter And Man gained
pounds, and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to
lose those extra pounds.
And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so
Man would not have to toil to change channels between
ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained pounds.
And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil." And
God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low
in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the
starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And
he created sour cream dip also. And Man clutched his
remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in
cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, "It is good." And
Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.....
And Satan created HMOs...